The saddest word
In the whole wide world
Is the word ALMOST!!!!!
He was almost in love
She was almost good for him
He almost stopped her
She almost waited for him
He almost lived
They ALMOST made it !!!!
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Texts I never sent
14:01:
Hey ?
Did you do good today?
How are you? Is it raining?
I miss you.
15:32:
It’s strange, whenever I go to the bathroom, I can smell your hair shampoo between my thighs.
15:34:
Is that normal? How am I supposed to get over something when you are everywhere with it?
14:26:
I must say you’ve got an ass like the North Star every wise man is going to want to follow it.
15:15:
People at school asked where the mark on my throat came from
and I had to tell em I bumped into a door. I am not sure they
bought it, you sick fuck.
15:34:
No offence, but you are a stupid bitch
16:17:
It doesn’t matter whose fault the break-up was, I was stubborn, you were like a mentally ill whore from the 90’s.
17:59:
Yes we flaunt the best. Yet we are not happy like the Rest. Too much pain and secrets in our Chest. I want to open up to you and you only but something is pull me back.
20:43:
God, it’s the aching kind of missing. I think I’m in yearning for you.
20:43:
And those bundles of stress tumble from be best when we
focus less on what’s wrong and we hang on to what’s right
20:44:
Do you? I don’t know, think about me or something? I hope you’re okay. I hope tender things are kissing your soft lips .
20:45:
Speaking of aches, you sure did a number on me. I can feel you everywhere. Well done, missy.
20:48:
That voice note makes me wanna touch myself inappropriately and slowly slide a hand into my knickers and flick the bean furiously!!!!!!
21:05:
I wish that someone had told me that you can’t use love to fix everything. Isn’t that awful? Someone should put that in the children’s books.
22:57:
It’s just that two nights ago we were twisted around each other at this time and I can’t get it out of my head. I want to always be naked with you. I want to kiss you until my heart is sore.
00:09:
Goodnight, I don’t know how to say this, I want the empty space in your bed to hurt you. I love you, I love you.
00:59:
By the way the thing you did with you tongue still driving me crazy.
Prideful of Lion
The God’s honest truth is this: I wanted to ruin you. It was selfish and it was delicious. I wanted you to pick out the bones of me from between your teeth for years after I happened to you. And I did happen to you. We made sure of that, didn’t we?
Happened like the aftermath of some gruesome accident, it was so bloody and raw that you had to stop to look, didn’t you? And then you couldn’t take your eyes off it. It was inside of you for as long as you could remember.
Then you had nightmares about all of that ugliness for days. That was how I wanted you, half thrilled and half terrified that you were never going to forget what it looked like.
That it would be a splinter that never worked itself out of your skin
and you’d feel it whenever you brushed against somebody
else. And why should you? When I loved you like that. How could you forget?
My body so full that if the ocean tried to take me, the only thing that would come back up to shore was you. Or a bag full of bones curled around the shape of your name.
I would have swallowed the entire Earth whole if you’d asked me to. I would have taken the sky by the corners and ripped it away from the horizon.
So yes, it was the hungriest I’d ever been. It was the most glorious I’d ever been, with you like that stomach like a furnace, stomach like a hungry pride of lions.
Point me in the direction of any God you know and I’ll get on my knees and beg because. ‘I want to ruin that woman. I don’t want her to ever forget me.’”
Thoughts Unspoken
Oftentimes the many thoughts,
That go on inside my head,
So many thoughts unspoken,
So much remains unsaid.
And sometimes the most precious thoughts,
Just never get put to word,
The ones with the most meaning,
Are the ones that are never heard.
Because when someone means so much,
I don’t always have words to say,
For feelings that run much deeper,
Than mere words could ever convey.
And just because words aren’t often voiced,
Doesn’t make them any less true,
Words that have special meaning,
Words like ‘I love you.’
But words don’t work for me
Because silence is like a muse or comfort
And your lack of words warrants a release
A sudden desire to break free
So though I may not often speak,
The words you want to hear,
Know that you are still in my heart,
And my thoughts of you are dear.
Genuine Question
have cursed the scars from countless days of abandon
wished on stars
prayed in the dark
I have torn out many pages
I have howled your name into the night
sobbed our story to empty walls
I have tasted torment
left alone to die
I now weed through despair to find a single truth
that doesn’t make all our rights wrong
every part reached for you
for a glimpse for a mistake that didn’t break the covenant we shared
for a sign that maybe we cared
but neither of us dared to deliver
and so it is that the cold brings us to our knees
doubting love
digging dangerous holes into our maybes
Where emptiness is a perception
a dark hole that whispers “come”
where evil weaves its webs of wanting fragments of you
Fragments which dance softly through my darkness like a shadowy beam –
making me ache in places I’ve never dreamed…
Or Maybe it would’ve be simpler if we didn’t believed in the first place ?
Or Let Me Go Home
Look at these ashes in my eyes,
Where do you think they’re from?
Do you know what demons I’ve been listening to?
Do you know what dark my soul has sung?
Do you know what evils my heart has contemplated? ,
Still: 22 suns born and died and you think
I care?
about your lusty poison
and your fawning tongue?
Tell me straight up;
Do you resent my imperfections?
Because I’m proud of them.
Now i’m going to run in the tide of my deep thoughts
Where I find comfort and solace
Where My imperfections are accepted and cherished
Tell me you love me
Or
Let
Me
Go
Home.
August 2014
August was finding
A certain kind of truth
Hidden under the blanket
Of loneliness.
I can no longer see
The boy in the mirror
Or the ghost who lives
Behind me.
I have lost all traces of
Evidence that proves
I exist.
A Love Poem
They say love is deadly,
Love is a sin.
When falling in love,
You cannot win.
But here i stand,
Slowly letting you in,
Getting lost in you,
Where do i begin?
Your lips, laughs,
Your loving embrace,
Your voice, smile,
Your skin and face.
My back,
Your fingers love to trace.
My heart,
You make it want to race.
Scent so strong,
Your lips i can taste
As you pull me in,
Hands on my neck.
Slow down a bit,
Let us not make haste
For this love should not go misplaced.
Kisses so deep,
Like stars, they burst.
Tension, once in the air,
Now dispersed.
Under your spell,
Some kind of curse
To love you,
Should i expect the worst?
Running to the Edge of my Sanity 